This post was most recently updated on August 30th, 2023
[A collaboration post – all thoughts are my own]
Have you ever felt worthless? How are you dealing with that?
You and I have one of those days when we’re feeling worthless. The truth is, I believed I had no right to feel this way. I had parents who didn’t really force me to be a successful woman, a college degree, and a car. Why would I feel like I was nothing?
Why am I feeling worthless?
- You regularly compare yourself to others
- You hear negative feedback from others
- You’ve been rejected
- You have negative self-talk
- Your negative thoughts make you feel worthless
- You have low confidence
To be honest, when I say that I enjoy freelance work as a translator and blogger, I still feel uneasy. My parents wanted me to work as a civil servant and get a steady income, and every year I see many of my friends who are married and have families. Even my cousins who are younger and my age already have children. I can’t help but feel worried.
Even though we all know that money isn’t everything, when you’re in a financial crisis or going through a job loss, stress may take over your life. This causes you to believe that you are imperfect and leaves you feeling hopeless. Financial stress can have a negative impact on your mental and emotional health.
We are all under pressure to succeed, especially in our late teens and twenties. We confront numerous obstacles, including obtaining an education, establishing a successful profession, finding the ideal partner, and starting a family. The pressure to achieve makes you feel you’re not doing enough, or giving your best and makes you feel guilty. You end up damaging your self-esteem.
Many people believe that they are not succeeding unless they achieve everything above. One of the reasons people in their twenties often feel so disoriented is this. Your feeling this way does not say anything about your character. With that in mind, remember that you are not alone.
Things to remember when you’re feeling worthless
Your feelings are valid
Your tears, fear, and rage are real – no one can tell you otherwise. So what if you have a good job, a loving family, or a nice car? These things don’t change the way you feel. In fact, so many people develop depression because they ignore their feeling of worthlessness and they don’t think they deserve to feel this way.
You’re not the only one
When scrolling social media, especially sites like Instagram, it looks like everyone’s living a great life. We think everyone’s doing so well for themselves and here we are, barely making it.
Trust me: everyone hides the negatives of their lives. Social media is only a small part of who we are. People who you think have a great life, remember that they could be going through financial issues, a mental illness, or a family issue. We don’t know anyone’s story, the same way others barely know yours.
Not everything is about us, and we do not need the approval of others in every instance. There is no need for us to take everything to heart in the quest to please others. I always believe that being thankful for what you already have is more important than looking for something, not within your means.
If you’re feeling worthless due to others, ask yourself, what does that negative person do that’s absolutely wonderful?
By shifting your focus on the good things, you’ll naturally start bringing out the best in them. You also need to acknowledge the parts of you that you don’t like and make you feel useless. You have the power to see them differently and to change them as you wish.
Other than that, loving yourself is an important step that can help you get rid of feeling worthless. Love brings the greatest joy and freedom in life, and it is a great healing force. Before you expect love from others, it’s important that you love yourself. So you need to ask yourself, what would it take from you to love yourself?
Your role model feels this way too
Everyone in this world – especially those who are growing – feels this way too. Regardless of their social status, social media reels, and online personas, they struggle as you do. Some of the most successful people in this world feel worthless at times.
There’s so much that is working
Being in a vulnerable state can shift our awareness that life isn’t working for us. We overanalyze a comment on social media and obsess over how our goals aren’t happening fast enough.
Remember, you woke up today – 20,000 people didn’t. You can still have three meals a day while many children in your country struggle with a piece of bread for a day. You likely have access to clean water while 30,000 barely have it. This is a simple perspective shift that allows us to love the bar on gratitude and remember what is working.
Learn to say no
You’re not obligated to please everyone by saying “yes”. Some people just want to take advantage of you because they recognize your insecurities. But you’re not obligated to always say “yes” to anyone, even those whom you love and respect.
Say “yes” to the things that help you become more of who you want to be. And say “no” to the things that keep you stuck in the past. The more you implement this, the more self-respect and self-worth you’ll possess.
Your story’s not over yet
We all have a library in our minds where we can remember the truth about ourselves – the places where our accomplishments are amazed by someone else. Believe it or not, you’ve accomplished so many positive things that you likely forgot all about because our brains tend to remember negative things much stronger than positive ones.
Same as blogging, everyone’s journey is unique, and success does not have to look the same. Nobody can do everything at the same time!
As long as you’re alive your story isn’t over yet. You’re the author of your life, and if you want to be the female lead, you can still build yourself into that. But remember, the main lead always faces a rival and obstacles. The reason why the main lead’s journey is so interesting in the first place is that at first, they didn’t have a chance but then they did something and achieved what others thought was impossible.
Be who you want to be
To be honest, my family and friends play a huge role in how I think and feel. My mother is someone who would think and say negative things first. Even though I was a positive person, being around my mom slowly made me as cynical as her. When I told my mom that I got accepted as a book translator, she said to reject it and better work as a civil servant because it guarantees my future.
I know that every parent wants their children to be happy but I really felt sad at that time because no one seemed to care about what I truly wanted. I wanted a simple life where I work from home or anywhere, write a few hours every day, mind my business, and live in a minimalist home.
I know not everyone has the luxury of leaving their current job, even if it’s toxic. However, the one who really knows what can make you happy is … yourself.
Sure everyone has something to say about our lives. But we have to remember that we’re the ones doing the hard work. Not them. They can say whatever they want but remember: you always have a say in what you do. They can criticize all they want, but you’re the one putting in the blood, sweat, and tears to make a name for yourself.
No one’s sure about what they want in life
I still remember my mother once offered to go to nursing school and I turned it down. When I was in high school, I knew where I was going when I graduated. But I wasn’t sure about my choice because at that time many friends chose law, psychology, and health majors. I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong decision in college that will affect my chances of finding a job. Then I started my career as a freelance translator when I was in college. This job is still related to my studies in English Literature.
In life, we choose the wrong major in college, choose the wrong career, and marry the wrong person. But that’s life. Anyone who tells you that you need to have things “figured out” at any stage is too afraid to explore their options and settle.
We live with toxic people, work in stressful jobs, and suppress our pain, making us susceptible to mental illnesses.
When we feel worthless, it’s our minds trying to send us a message. If there’s anything you can take from this post, remember that your feelings are valid.