This post was most recently updated on October 23rd, 2023
Why do I like being alone? Spending time alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely or unsociable.
Do you like being alone most of the time? Do you prefer spending time alone rather than going out in a group?
You’re certainly not the only one. I like being alone and it’s totally okay to feel this way.
But, when thinking of someone who loves spending time alone, what words pop into your head? Loner? Unfriendly? Weirdo? Or is there another word you’d use?
Well, if you associate all of the above-mentioned words with a person who enjoys doing things alone, know that you’re not the only one – many people think of loners these ways. A lot of people consider being alone as a bad thing. And I’ve felt this on my own skin more than once, to be honest.
I know that we are “social creatures,” meaning we’re more likely to be around other people, enjoy hanging out and sharing our experiences with others, and thrive in public settings.
So, those who like shopping or going to the cinema or restaurant alone are automatically regarded as introverted and they end up being pitied by those around them for not fitting into the “social creatures” category – the one where all humans are expected to belong to.
But let’s get things straight once and for all: spending time alone doesn’t equal loneliness. Spending time alone is what everyone needs.
Why do I like being alone?
There are phases in life when you feel to spend time the way you want. I used to be alone since I was 7. Both my parents worked so I grew up used to spending time alone, either reading or watching tv. And I don’t mind with that at all.
The fact that I like being alone doesn’t mean that I don’t like hanging out with others. Sometimes I also go out with my friend, but for these past 3 years I don’t go out with my friend very often – maybe once in 2-3 weeks. Except that, I will prefer spending time alone.
Enjoying my own company in a nice little coffee shop minding my own business while the world around me sits in two or groups chatting their time away, while I enjoy the silence. Is it weird? Absolutely not. You do not need anyone else to accompany you to do something you like. You are always enough!
You see, I’m a person who enjoys doing things alone. And fortunately, my parents understand that, so whenever I tell my parents that I went out by myself, they won’t question me about why I went alone or why I didn’t ask my friend to accompany me.
But the truth is that I didn’t need any company. And, NO! I didn’t feel lonely and there’s absolutely no need for anyone to pity me.
Instead of feeling lonely, I feel lucky. There is always something so appealing about this experience. I feel freedom. I feel excited to see what life has set for me ahead. When you love yourself, you will respect and treat yourself well. It is a simple theory of self-love. If you do not love yourself enough, you cannot love the world.
Benefits of spending time alone
The famous American philosopher, Henry David Thoreau said: “I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
So, I want to get one thing straight: spending time alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely or unsociable. It doesn’t mean that I can’t stand being surrounded by others. In fact, I feel comfortable when I spend time on my own. Why?
- Spending time alone helps me get to know myself better. It helps me explore my deepest feelings, thoughts, fears and nurture my soul. It gives me time to reflect on the things that I’m doing wrong in life as well as compliment myself on my successes.
- Spending time alone also helps me figure out who deserves a place in my life and who doesn’t. It helps me realize that I deserve to be surrounded by trustworthy, kind, and positive people and that I need to cut out of my life all those who are stealing my happiness and dragging me down.
- Spending time alone saves me from the discomfort of hanging out with negative people and engaging in small, superficial talk. One of the reason why quality is better than quantity – I try to surround myself witha few of positive friends than a group of friends who like to gossip or be a bad influence.
There were many things that I regretted in my early 20s, I didn’t explore much because there was no one to accompany me. Right after turning 24 years old, I often traveled alone to visit many beautiful places in Bali.
Give some of your time to yourself and never worry about whether others will judge you for that. It is about someone who can love themselves and be at peace with themselves. Change comes from within. You alone must decide if you want that change.
Reasons why you enjoy your alone time
You’re an introvert
You might have heard the term ‘introvert’ before, or you might already identify as one, but it is almost certain that you are a highly introverted individual.
Being introverted means you find social interaction far less rewarding than an extrovert might. At the same time, you find your alone time to be very rewarding.
You’re a low-energy person
Some people seem to have an endless supply of energy. I have always been envious of people with unlimited energy. Others, like myself, have more limited supplies.
You aren’t an active individual and your favorite place in the world is the nice comfy chair or couch you sit on. God, I love sitting on my comfy chair for hours!
This doesn’t mean you are unhealthy – you can still do regular exercise, but you then have to ensure you have time to rest.
You get to do the things you want to do
Many social situations require an element of compromise.
With two or more people, you aren’t always going to be able to go to your favorite restaurant or see the movie you want to see. Believe me, when going out with friends, not all of them can make it on time, which in the end often keeps me waiting – means wasting a lot of time.
And as much as you can compromise when necessary, you simply prefer not to when given the choice.
Being alone means you can choose precisely what you want to do at any given moment. And that’s the way you like it.
You prefer peace and quiet
Partly due to my introverted nature, I’m quite happy to be in silence. I can be chatty when I want to, but I also enjoy silence. If I don’t want to, I won’t talk when someone is beside me, whether it’s family or friends.
But silence is a rare thing these days. As soon as you add another person to the mix, the peace you enjoy is shattered. And the other person doesn’t even have to talk to you for their presence to affect you. The fact that they are in close proximity means you don’t feel able to completely relax or immerse yourself in an activity.
Only when you are completely alone can you get the peace you long for.
You don’t do drama
In my neighborhood, many people spend too much of their time engaged in unnecessary drama. They gossip about who did what, who insulted who, why a so-and-so is a bad person, and how they are the righteous party.
This sort of thing just doesn’t interest me… at all. I don’t care about someone’s business or life, or whatever. It’s just a waste of energy.
So, to avoid drama, you tend to avoid people – at least, most people.
You are very emotionally independent
You are your own source of happiness. You don’t feel the need to be around people all the time.
You don’t experience the wild rollercoaster of emotions that many others do. It’s more of a gentle up and down for you. Well, it’s a different case if I’m on periods, tho.
You are quite capable of working through your own problems and getting out of a less-than-positive mood. You don’t need someone else’s help. I just need to head over to Netflix and watch my favorite movie when I’m having a bad day.
Honestly, I thoroughly recommend spending time on your own. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t because you didn’t have company.
So, do you like spending time alone? Is there any particular reason do you enjoy being alone? I’d love to hear your opinions below!