This post was most recently updated on September 25th, 2022
[A collaboration post – all thoughts are my own.]
Knowing you’re not good enough might make you fall apart. I make every effort to stop myself when I start to feel “not good enough.” I keep telling myself that I am good enough. I’m sure you can relate. We’ve all been there. We all experience bad days and moments of self-doubt.
The truth is that you cannot criticize yourself for becoming a better version of yourself. And even though I am aware of this, I sometimes give in to my own pessimistic thoughts. When I make a mistake or don’t meet my own standards, I tend to beat myself up rather than using it as a learning experience.
We are frequently under pressure to be who the world wants us to be rather than who we want to be. And some of us had to cope with that from our parents, who were supposed to teach us a sense of self-assurance and independence. Being constantly put down, especially at a young age, leaves long-lasting scars. It’s possible that you lost sight of what makes you unique in the face of all the pressure and criticism (including your own).
Reminders When You Think You’re Not Good Enough
There are moments when pressure comes from your friends, family, work, and society at large. Society is the biggest culprit, in my opinion, when you think you’re not good enough. Society has a set of hidden expectations that we must meet by a certain age or in a particular way.
Someone somewhere decided that this guideline was the “right” way to live, and now we’re expected to abide by it. By a certain age or timeframe, we feel we are simply “not good enough” if we don’t have the “right” career, relationship, lifestyle, and so on. Therefore, anytime we deviate from this guideline, we feel disappointed in ourselves or as though there is an issue with us.
So here are a few things you might want to try to keep in mind when you feel like you’re not good enough. If it helps, keep a note of the times you notice yourself giving in to your doubts or negative thoughts and replace them with one of these helpful reminders. I’ve been doing this for a while now, and it has significantly improved my life. I challenge you to jump on board.
Stop comparing and competing
I have things that I’m good at and things I’m not so good at. I have things I like, dislike, interests, personality traits, and everything else that makes me different from anyone else. We each come with a specific package of talents, flaws, and characteristics that make us who we are. And what’s even more interesting is that this package of things that define us changes as we grow and learn and transform. So, even who you are is constantly changing.
Growing up as the only child in the family, I’ve been compared to many kids in the neighborhood. And I TOTALLY hate that! What’s the result people get from comparing each other? I can assure you that people who seem to have it all together oftentimes do not. Everyone is fighting their own battles. So the person you’re comparing yourself to is struggling with something as well.
After experiencing working life, I can’t help competing and comparing myself with others. Constantly comparing myself to others also makes me lose sight of all the wonderful things I currently have going on in my life. In doing so, I end up being unhappy at work.
So try to focus on yourself. Take a moment to admire the great things in your own life, and only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Focus on what you do have and appreciate it. Try to stop comparing yourself to someone else—whether it’s someone who can do something better than you or someone who’s doing worse.
If just if, you really have to compare your current self with a previous version of yourself, see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve accomplished. Be your own standard. Be the best version of yourself.
Express your negativity to the right person
While some people include journaling in their daily habits, I don’t. It’s not that I dislike journals; rather, I’m just concerned that someone might read them when I’m not around. And I simply can’t let everyone see my raw, pure emotions. This involves a level of vulnerability that requires safety and trust.
Negative feelings must be expressed. It is the simplest way to relieve the suffering of believing that you are unworthy. Simply, speak up if you feel something is off about you or the world around you. At first, it could take a lot of bravery.
Make sure you talk to someone you know well about your difficult moments. If you have a support system behind you, even if you don’t get the answers you’re searching for, you could find the motivation to go through the difficult moments.
Perfection does not exist
You are aware that it is impossible to excel in everything, right?
As cliché as it sounds, nobody’s perfect. When I was in high school, I was very bad at chemistry, math, and physics. The two subjects that always get A’s are English and Japanese – 2 subjects I love! I’m well aware that if I don’t like something, I won’t pay much attention to it. And both my strengths and weaknesses are presented in me.
If you aim for perfection, life loses its meaning, despite how beautiful it sounds in theory. Because you are capable of doing everything, there is nothing left to learn and no way to develop. One of life’s goals, in my opinion, should be learning and growing as we go through it and pursue our personal goals. What is there for us to strive for if our work isn’t even a priority and we always receive what we want?
Don’t punish yourself for not being perfect, as long as you did the best you could and you’re going forward. People all around me strive for success and perfection, and whenever they fail, they feel inferior. Nevertheless, no matter how many times you fail or make mistakes along the way, simply having the willingness to work towards your goals is a victory in and of itself. That is a step along the way.
So, try to celebrate yourself for at least trying, as that in and of itself is difficult to achieve, rather than beating yourself up for making mistakes, failing, or not doing as well as you possibly can. Be grateful for your progress thus far. Acknowledge that everything takes time and that it’s acceptable to progress at your own pace.
Your flaws do not define you
The way our brains are built is to concentrate on the negative. We recall things more vividly and with greater intensity when they were awful. In a single day, we might receive 100 praises. But instead, one tiny critique would occupy all of our thoughts. Regardless of how much good you do, if you make a mistake, someone will always remember it.
Try to keep this in mind if you feel insecure as a result of someone pointing it out: People only feel the need to criticize others because they believe they are imperfect, thus doing so is their strategy of feeling better. And you don’t have to see yourself in that perspective simply because someone thinks that of you. They are completely unaware of the many other qualities you have. That is their business if they choose to be judgmental.
Everyone and I mean everyone, even the most seemingly ideal individuals, has flaws. You must decide whether to accept yourself and your imperfections. If you think you are not good enough, try to focus more of your attention on your positive qualities.
Accept yourself for who you are
It will not do you any good to tell yourself that you are unlovable or unworthy. When you tell yourself this, it’s inevitable that you’ll behave in a way that really makes you more difficult to love. Being with someone who despises themselves is difficult. Would you want to see someone you care about being so harsh on themselves all the time?
Where I live, more people favor office jobs or uniform people. People will start to wonder about women who are almost 30 years old and single. There are still a lot of people who don’t have an open mind and use their age as a standard for life and behavior.
I’m not an office worker, I’m 27 years old, and I have no plans to get married. I worked from home for three years, but I occasionally went out to work or to see friends. But, I have good qualities. I enjoy my job offering translation services, and I can say that my monthly income is even double that of office workers. And I have the freedom to work whenever and wherever I want.
You possess good qualities. Make a list of all the things about yourself that you like. To begin, create a list of 10 items. It could be a personality trait you enjoy, a talent or skill you have, or anything else you can think of. If you can, keep expanding the list.
Ask your loved ones to make a list of some of these positive things if you’re having problems noticing them. There are others who think highly of you. They do not perceive you as you perceive yourself.
Try to care less about what other people think
Of course, it’s far simpler to say than to do. We live in a judgmental society where you need to strive for what’s considered socially acceptable to be accepted. However, doing so prevents you from being who you truly are.
Perhaps society doesn’t think you’re good enough because of how you look, who you are, what you do for a living, or where you are in life. You can, however, live up to your own expectations as well as those of the people you love. That should be enough, right?
I used to put other people’s opinions before any other feelings or thoughts I might have had because I worried too much about what others might think. I try to constantly remind myself that I am a good, hardworking person. With my job as a translator, I help people communicate around the world and help them overcome the language barrier. And who cares how I live my life or present myself as long as I view myself that way and the people I care about see me that way?
It is not possible for us to please everyone. We might as well make the most of the time we have by focusing on who we are and who matters to us. But keep in mind that you don’t need their approval. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to win over your parents or another person by seeking approval from them. All the validation you need is within yourself.
You have the right to live life the way YOU want to, as long as you’re not hurting anyone. You have the right to be who YOU want to be.
Try not to listen to others who tell you how to behave or what you ought to want. Listen to yourself. You are the only one who truly understands what brings you fulfillment, happiness, and contentment in life. Not anyone else.
Many people are stuck in the past, unable to go on, constantly reflecting on what may have or ought to have been done. You can’t be really happy with where you’re headed unless you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are right now and how you got there.
Life is temporary. Although you should strive for the future, don’t limit your activities to it. You can’t be certain how much time you have, so try to live in the moment. If you are feeling like you are not good enough, remember this: you are one brave individual who has the guts to accept that something isn’t quite right. Not only that, but you are also ready to fix it. And that’s great!