This post was most recently updated on January 8th, 2023
[A collaboration post – all thoughts are my own.]
Stop comparing yourself. It’s simple to say, but hard to do. Despite knowing better, the majority of us compare ourselves to others. We compare ourselves for (unknown) human reasons; it is surely not because doing so makes us smarter, better, or more effective in any manner. An easy way to put it is to say that a comparison is a response and/or a feeling.
We’ve all been there: scrolling through social media with our thumbs, admiring the magical lives of ex-coworkers, friends, ex-boyfriends, and complete strangers, and wishing we could briefly live in their shoes. We spend time looking at their photos and captions while internally berating ourselves for all of the decisions we made to get where we are now, as if it were “our fault” that their lives appear to be so wonderful while ours appear to be so miserable.
Depending on how many people you are linked with on social media and how frequently they post, you may encounter a daily storm of smiling faces and staged events intended to show how appreciative, joyful, positive, focused, and productive they have been. However, most of those are staged moments picked because they don’t reflect the true ugliness of that person’s daily life.
Simply put, even if those events might be genuine, they do not necessarily reflect the current reality of that person’s existence. Actively comparing your life to others might leave you feeling incredibly overwhelmed, especially if you are doing an upward comparison. Your physical, psychological, and emotional health may suffer as a result.
How to stop comparing yourself
Comparing yourself to someone you believe has a better life and more accomplishments than you just encourage you to look for others whose lives look to be better than your own and compare yourself to them. You will feel more pleased with your life if you stop comparing it to others’.
But given that we are continuously exposed to social media, how can we stop comparing ourselves to others? Images of happy faces appearing unaffected by the issues of the world, people standing up to injustice while remaining unscathed, and others who seem to have readily committed to personal growth without encountering any missteps?
Limit your consumption
If you are relying on other people to validate you all the time, it is easy to fall into the comparison trap. If you want to quit comparing your life to others, cut back on your screen usage. Reduce the time you spend online browsing social media by using the tracker on your phone.
The pictures you see there are frequently well-edited snapshots of clumsy, imperfect real-life situations. Don’t be fooled; these people are simply crafty individuals who gathered content for gradual distribution. They are not living embodiments of perfection.
Develop a sense of joy to disconnect yourself from others’ success
It shouldn’t rock your world to see others succeed. Even if you believe that they are pursuing the same goals as you, their successes and failures are entirely unique. Considering that everyone is going through different situations, stop comparing your life to theirs.
You can overcome the urge to measure your success in comparison to others’ by developing a separation from their journeys. You will be able to celebrate your own progress if you develop a real sense of joy for their progress. It is easier to be happy for yourself when you are happy for others. When you are willing to celebrate other people’s success, no matter how small, it allows you to celebrate your own success as well.
Focus on your strengths
Stopping yourself from comparing yourself, like most things, begins with a cliche. Undoubtedly, it seems repetitive. Well, most cliches exist for a purpose. It’s one of those things that people are aware of but nonetheless, neglect to internalize and uphold. The problem is that if we are preoccupied with other people, we will never be able to recognize that.
As a translator and a content writer, I realize that English is still one of my weaknesses. I’m skilled at translating documents and writing content in English, but when it comes to speaking, I still feel nervous and self-conscious. Despite the fact that everyone around me say my English is clear and they can grasp anything I say.
When you begin comparing (and competing) with others, you are likely comparing your weaknesses to their strengths, even though it may be the latter. How is that fair? Here’s who you should compare yourself to. Find your strengths and work on them.
It’s important to be mindful of the fact that you frequently don’t get the complete picture. We only see what other people choose to share when we compare ourselves to them. They convey a specific image of themselves to the public when at work, on social media, and, yes, pretty much everywhere else.
Take a moment to consider what you put online for the world to see if you’re not sure about this. It’s not about pretending, yet the majority of people filter their lives. They are highly selective about what aspects of their lives they reveal and what they keep private.
How can you possibly know anything about the struggles of the person to whom you have been comparing yourself since most people are probably unaware of your struggles?
Don’t undermine others
Everybody grows psychically, but not everyone grows mentally. Stop if you notice that you are putting other people down to make yourself feel better. The failure of someone else will never be your victory.
Some people belittle others in order to elevate themselves. Even if you choose to go down this (wrong) road, it won’t help you. Why create an enemy when you could create a friend?
You will ultimately remain where you were. So just forget everyone else. Although this is about you, don’t put yourself down either. It’s important to understand the difference between pushing yourself and punishing yourself.
Accept your imperfections
Learning about and accepting every aspect of yourself is the first step toward improving yourself. You wouldn’t choose to address a problem, would you? The majority of us probably gave it a shot at some point but eventually realized it doesn’t really work that way.
It’s not always necessary to solve problems or deal with shortcomings. But if you don’t allow yourself to take a deep look in the mirror and truly get to know yourself, talents and shortcomings included, it’s impossible to improve. At the same time, if you acknowledge your weaknesses, it will be much simpler to find your strengths.
Remember: It’s all about time
It is pointless to compare oneself to others. It is in no way beneficial. What does it actually do except waste hours (or even minutes) of your day? Each day has 24 hours for us. Why waste time comparing yourself to others?
It will do you no good. You won’t develop in any manner thanks to it. You can be sure that it won’t make you feel better. Sometimes we don’t need science or witty motivational speeches. We only need to remind ourselves of certain basic truths about life that we already know and are probably true.
Learn to love the journey
We might have recently made a significant personal or professional accomplishment or learned something extremely valuable, but for some reason, we’re still mainly concerned about how far away from our primary goals we are.
We are never going to be enough, at least not in our own eyes. The human body is designed to grow. We’re not meant to get to the point when we have everything, because what happens then? If we already have everything, what is the point of waking up in the morning?
We constantly seek more because we need something fresh to focus on. Recognize that you don’t need everything to be perfect to enjoy the journey. Appreciate the fact that you have a purpose or something to work toward that you can look forward to when you wake up.
If you wish to stop comparing yourself to other people, your road will be filled with ups and downs. Although each experience and lesson improves us, we are never truly finished. So instead of concentrating on what other people are doing, pay attention to what you are doing.